Several weeks ago I started taking a couple classes at my nearby college. Around two weeks into the start of the semester I tried adding myself into a class that I wasn’t registered for. I was glad to see there were open seats and I sat in the back and the teacher looked like an old british nanny. Strangely enough, the people in the class seemed super young, like none of them were over 18 and some even seemed like they were under 18.
This was a class that met twice a week and I would just sit in the back and take vigorous notes while at the same time be entertained by the antics of my child-like peers since they were always doing something they shouldn’t be doing since they were in the back. It felt very much like 13th grade rather than college which was A-OK with me.
About a week into the class, my dear friend Olivia entered the class and I was surprised to see her because the semester had already been well underway but I didn’t question that and was delighted.
After several class sessions, we finally had a test. I took that test and thought I aced it. The next time I got to class, I got my test back and was trying to find the grade, and all I could see were these red marks all over the pages. I was frantically flipping through the pages only to get to the end and see the letter “F” written with a red pen with several circles around it to emphasize the awfulness.
I whispered “Fuck!” as loudly as I could and stood up and paced the back of the classroom back and forth, overcome with confusion and anger because I wanted to get an A, not even a B, let alone an F. I sat back down and thought, well there’s no way I could stay in this class, it would be better if I drop it and get a “W” than get a low grade if it’s going to be like this.
At the same time, it was twilight… magic-hour. The wall behind the instructor was not a solid wall but mostly glass where a view of the horizon could be seen behind her. The sky was littered with messy streaks of yellow and orange clouds all over the place. I wondered why I had never noticed this before, especially because magic-hour was my favorite time of day. I thought it must be because the days are getting shorter since it’s October now and the sun is setting earlier and this was an early evening class. I also thought this was another sign that I should not stay in here, but drop out and be outside.
I was very much in my own mind but I could hear the whole class murmuring and moping in reaction to their test scores as well but they seemed more apathetic, probably because they were young. I looked to my left and saw my friend Olivia and she had been silently crying and her eyes were still full of tears. She clearly had gotten an F too. I immediately got out of my seat and as I hugged her to console her I whispered, “It’s okay, I got an F too, I’m totally dropping this class.” She replied, “Really?” and managed to produce a smile-of-relief, knowing that she wasn’t alone in this and there was a way out.
I sat back in my seat and wondered if I should tell the teacher or if I should just drop the class online. Then I realized I couldn’t recall ever actually officially adding myself into the system. That’s when I realized I was not in any class. I had been attending this class twice a week, for three weeks, in my bed, in my dreams. I was in the classroom and couldn’t believe that I was sitting in a dream. I was in denial and asked myself what the subject matter of this class was and I couldn’t pin point it out. All my brain could muster was that it had something to do with photography… or maybe science. That’s when it all came crashing down. I had been attending a non-existent class, with a british-nanny-looking-instructor, studying god-knows-what, getting to know peers that don’t exist, taking a test that didn’t exist, and getting an F that wasn’t real. I was not aware of this class when I was awake, like I was living in two worlds. I opened my eyes and all I could think of was INCEPTION because I was thoroughly mind-fucked. I jumped out of my bed and as I washed my face I was still processing all that had happened and coming to terms with the (non)reality. This was the morning of my birthday as well, so I thought this must be the universes gift to me, in some weird and crazy way. Thank you universe for shaking me up and waking me up again in new ways. Dreams are crazy.