I have to stamp out this blog post before the time passes and it’s assimilated in my thought process completely and I’ve moved on and forgotten it, because then I can’t write about it anymore. Run on sentence.
Just last year, at the age of 28/29, I realized that one day, I’m going to die. It finally hit me that I am not invincible. Sure, I’ve thought about the after life a lot and have my thoughts about it (I’m hoping we just change form into some other cool existence), but up until this time, I never experienced aging before, so I guess I didn’t realize it would eventually come.
I really didn’t want to die. And I kept passively thinking about it for a couple months. Then finally, toward the end of the year 2012, I found this song. It’s kind of cheesy. But I love it.
He keeps repeating lines like, “Know that one day I must die, I’m alive” and “Yes I know that one day I must die, I’m alive.”
“I’m alive.”
That drove it home really well. He kept reiterating that he’s alive. And that’s really all that matters. A great song. You may think it sucks, and that’s all right, because music is hella subjective. But it’s what helped me find my breakthrough to help accept and move forward from this realization.
So anyway… conclusion? I’m alive. Life is very much fun and exciting. The least I could do is just be healthy and have fun at the same time as much as possible. I don’t want to succumb to degenerative diseases. Diseases that present themselves purely cause I’m getting older and we don’t age well? Fuck that. I want to ride horses and bicycles when I’m over 100 years old. (Note to self: Learn how to ride horses.) I’m going to make the best of my life and always try to exceed my abilities. That doesn’t mean I’m never going to potentially harm myself though. That’s kind of impossible to do if I want to live a fun, adventurous life. I’m going to revel in the beauty contained in every decade.
“One of the most significant facts about us may finally be that we all begin
with the natural equipment to live a thousand kinds of life
but end in the end having lived only one.”
~ Clifford Geertz ~
