First, some really superficial talk: I have aged a lil’ bit!
Aging is interesting. Day to day, week to week, or even year to year, there isn’t much change. But when I look at videos of me from 5-10 years past, my face looks different. Nowadays I have far more grey facial and chest hair. And when I smile, I see crows-feet next to my eyes that didn’t exist so firmly before. I wonder if this is due to my more-than-average sun exposure, but when I look at my friends of similar age, they all have it too, but they aren’t out in the sun much at all, so I don’t think it’s that.
All in all, all my neighbors expressed complete shock when I told them I was turning 40 which is always a nice compliment. Most people thought I was way younger. I believe that is due to my spirit and the way I carry myself! They see me working out, playing with my dog, riding my bike, like a youngin!
And my body looks way better!
When I look at my oldest videos, my body looked undeveloped relative to now.
I had great posture and still do now but I’ve clearly put on way more muscle on my frame over the past decade. When people hug me, they sometimes note how they feel I’m built like a brick, and that’s a nice remark. It’s the simple result of thousands of strength training sessions that I’ve amassed under my belt. And the best part is, I consistently workout still do this day, especially with bodyweight exercises, the same as I did 10 years ago but with far greater discipline and knowledge base. I unfortunately have not been under 15% bodyfat for the past 4 years, but I am the strongest I have been.
Working out with friends is a rare treat!
I am lucky enough that I have 2 friends that live nearby and are motivated enough that we can have a strength training session together. It’s hard to make it work most of the time since we are all busy with different schedules but when we are able to, it’s really motivating and fun. If you can do the same, even if it’s a couple times a month, I highly recommend it. You don’t even have to be on the same level and have to be doing the same exercises to make it work. Just being in the presence of working out with another friend can be very nice to switch things up, since we workout in isolation so often.
My friend recently yelled at me to “Breathe out!” at the bottom of a pike pushup. I apparently didn’t even know I was holding my breath. This exercise went from feeling deathly difficult (with years of experience with it!!!) to a much more manageable intensity IN ONE SESSION by simply exhaling on the way back up. Absolutely incredible how little things like that could make a difference.
It’s all the more important to do online coaching where I can help spot things like that for you as well. Resting between sets allows you to catch up on life with each other as well. The socializing factor is important!
Speaking of socializing…
I firmly believe that I am very lucky to live on the street that I do because almost everybody owns a dog which leads to us running into each other everyday. While we usually don’t chat far beyond the topic of our fur-babies, they all know my wife is pregnant and can’t wait to see him! (Surprise, it’s a boy!)
I also think it’s important to know your neighbors in the event of a local catastrophe such as a major earthquake. The police/fire department would be overwhelmed, but it’s neighbors like me (and hopefully you) who will think to check up on those near you in such an event.
And my dog plays freely with the neighbors dogs quite regularly. The video on the right shows a sample of what that’s like. In fact, we often text each other asking if our “puppies” want to come out and play. It’s all very wholesome and also entertaining. I think it’s pretty rare to see neighborhood dogs playing like this in the big cities, but you know… I’m not shy and I really believe that I’ve been instrumental in helping to make my street as wholesome as possible. (Seriously, “Be the change you want to see in the world” is a real thing.)
And with a baby on the way, I now think of everything through the lens of raising a child.
Decades ago it was very common for kids to go out and spontaneously play with the neighbors kids. Now it is far more formalized where play time is scheduled and planned. At least that’s how it is in LA (and likely all major cities). In most other countries, that is still the norm, where your kids can safely be out from 2pm and they’ll be back for dinner time.
In fact, that’s why one of my best friends moved back to Armenia. He noticed the way of life here is completely alien relative to the way he was raised. A lot of people are afraid for the safety of their children from all the potential weirdos. Whereas now, in Armenia (and most other countries I presume), children are not segregated, but enmeshed and embraced in the society.
Back to training… I’m happy to say that…
- I consistently strength train 2-3x/week and focus on weighted chinups with ~45lbs and decline, deficit pike pushups. These exercises never feel “easy” unfortunately, but I love a good challenge because progressive overload is an epic game.
- I ride my bicycle nearly everyday often for quick errands which helps add a sense of adventure to the typical car-centric life of LA. There’s nothing quite like feeling the wind, negotiating through traffic and experiencing the city at 12-15mph.
- I still regularly attend a yoga class 2-4x/month. The meditative euphoria afterwards is a beautiful experience.
- I play Ultimate Frisbee 1-2x/week consistently which is one of the funnest things I’ve discovered in the past year and wish I knew more about this when I was younger.
- I get to sprint, throw, defend and catch and express all my athleticism in a jam packed 1-2 hour session.
- It also exposed my weakness of being able to accelerate and sprint which has improved a lot by deliberately forcing more hip flexion and and knee extension (ie., raising my knees much higher and throwing the foot more forward).
- The park we play at is also immaculate and I play barefooted which I absolutely love having the opportunity to since it’s rare to do in the big city.
As a result of all this, I’m overall very spry and more fit than any other 40 year old I know and very grateful for that. And while we’re on this topic of not looking your age… Can we take a moment to appreciate the following tweet that turned into a righteous meme?
Truth be told, it is difficult to train frequently, consistently, but adjusting the volume accordingly allows me to still achieve great results!
I gotta be real with you, strength training 3x a week consistently is quite difficult or impossible many times throughout the year. On weeks where I’ve only gotten one session in and I will only have time for 1 more session, I will do way more volume on that 2nd session, on both the compound and isolation exercises. This has resulted in incredibly great aesthetic and strength results.
The only issue is it requires a lot more time (up to 2 hours!), but this is still far less time than having to set aside the time for an entire 3rd session.
The reality is, even if you only had enough time to strength train only ONCE a week, you could technically still make great gains IF you put in a hell of a lot more effort and did more sets in that singular session. (This isn’t possible for the faint of heart or beginners, however. You’d need to have the work capacity to even be able to do that.)
I think it is an art form to be able to juggle strength training, cardio, yoga, sports all in a week, but it is stuff I enjoy tremendously, so I find ways to make it work. It’s a testament to the quote, “When there’s a will, there’s a way!”
Oh and my testosterone is apparently the equivalent of a 18 year old male!
During my annual check I wanted my testosterone checked and the report came back that my Total Testosterone level is 1250ng/dl, which is insanely high. Most 40 year olds have only 200-500ng/dl. In my discord community support group I was asked why I think it’s so high and here is the list I came up with for what probably contributes to it all:
- Strength training consistently
- Avoid having a high body fat percentage (this is massive and probably why most men have low T, cause 70%+ are overweight)
- Drink alcohol very rarely (it doesn’t affect me positively in any way)
- Have good coping mechanisms for stress as outlined in my mindful motivation series.
- Sleep 7-8hrs consistently (this will change soon when I become a dad)
- Terrible Fun fact! testosterone drops by 40% for fathers in the first 6 months of a new child (RIP me)
- I get sun every single day, even in the crazy heat since I have to walk the dog 2-3x/day) so my Vitamin D levels are good.
- Not sure if this has any effect but I play Ultimate Frisbee barefoot on the grass 1-2x/week.
- I try to prioritize protein and keep carbs low, not keto-low anymore but I’m really mindful about it since carby foods have low nutrient density and diets high in sugar and fat drop T levels.
- I donate blood and plasma 1-3x/year now. There’s a place that pays me to donate plasma as well)… I started doing this because ALL OF US ingest 5 grams of plastic per week. (About a credit card size worth!) As a result, our bodies are overloaded with microplastics (which mimic estrogen and destroy T) and PFAS/PFOAS (forever chemicals) that bind to our red blood cells permanently. The only way to remove these hormone-mimickers from our blood is to literally donate it so your body makes new unadulterated ones. Plus, people who donate blood unequivocally live 8% longer (even when accounting for the health-effect that donors tend to be healthier people).
- More on plastics, I try to reduce the amount of plastic touching my food: No plastic bowls, cups, never put warm/hot food in plastic food containers, etc. I try to avoid drinks served in plastic bottles as well (we know BPA leeches into the water, and even if the bottle is BPA-free, there’s analogs to that shit that still leeches into the water.) You could read more about the microplastic crisis on our bodies here.
How has my lens of nutrition and diet evolved?
My diet has matured in quite some ways over the past few years, mostly due to my wife being very fastidious in regards to eating better since she was diagnosed with MS. Plus, she’s a foodie and I like cooking which has turned me into a gourmand. (This is a new word I learned: A gourmand is a connoisseur of good food.)
My diet has matured from Counting Calories -> Intermittent Fasting -> Ketogenic Diet -> Organic, Animal-Based Diet with Intermittent Fasting
- Counting calories helped me understand how much food I’m actually eating.
- Intermittent fasting helps me understand what true-hunger feels like.
- The ketogenic diet helped me understand the macronutrient ratios (the ratio of carbs, protein, fat) of all foods.
Notice how none of the above include anything about food quality. But the past few years has been a gradual refinement in exactly that front.
- I avoid seed-oils just in case that stuff is actually, seriously bad for you and only use Avocado Oil for high-temps and Extra Virgin Olive Oil for salads or light-cooking.
- Terrible Fun Fact: Most avocado oil brands are RANCID and NOT avocado oil at all! Only 2 brands (Chosen Foods and Marianne’s Avocado Oil) are actually 100% avocado oil.
- I buy only grass-fed beef and organically fed pasture raised chicken for both ethical and health reasons.
- I buy organic vegetables and fruits. Especially strawberries and berries and any vegetables that grow in the ground (e.g., potatoes, onions, carrots) because cause the soil gets literally soaked with pesticides (which are also estrogen-hormone-mimickers).
- I know it’s more expensive to do the above and I avoided it for a long time because of that, but I came to realize a lot of that is a remnant from the poverty college days and that I could actually do it. Reality is we still have an over-abundance of food. (I touch on that in my previous blog post here.)
I read the ingredients label and usually try to avoid buying things made of questionable, toxic ingredients (such as food dyes and gums). Sure, I will occasionally eat out and treat myself to something “bad” for my own pleasure but overall, that’s far more infrequent.
Every time I shop, I make a statement with my wallet by supporting only products made with organic and unquestionable ingredients. Be aware of your own power!
For example, my wife likes oat milk, but almost all oat milk also includes canola oil and various gums. We’ve found that Trader Joes is the only one that sells Oat Milk whose ingredients are only “Water, Oats.” These things oddly cost more, but it is what it is.
But, something I’d like to note is that in regards to aesthetics: even if you do intermittent fasting and eat only organic foods, pasture raised eggs and grass fed beef… calories are still the main predictor of whether you’re going to be lean or not.
I’m also much better at cooking things at home quickly…
Cooking is a form of art I love a lot.
But it doesn’t have to be difficult.
Following a recipe is generally an extremely easy thing to do.
Here’s my system that’s working well for me:
- I have a “Recipes” folder in my Notes app.
- Anytime I try a new recipe, I put the link to the recipe, try it, and if I like it, I expand upon it with whatever notes/modifications I learned.
- If I don’t think I’ll make it again, I delete it.
- I now have 100 recipes to choose from anytime I want to figure out what I’m going to go grocery shopping for my next few meals.
Warning: Most of the cool looking, visually flashy, Instagram/Tik-Tok food recipes are often absolutely terrible when you try them out. Sad story bro.
Some important things I’ve learned thus far at the turn of the decade…
The things that matter the most are your health, family, friends and good food. Everything else pretty much pales in comparison.
Without good health, everything else falls apart. Without family and friends, living in isolation is a recipe for disaster. And good food is often what brings everyone together.
Build lasting friendships with quality people and maintain them
Keep a close circle of long standing friends and hold those relationships true and dear. But only the ones that matter. Remember that you are the average of the 4-5 people you hang out with the most. If they’re all dead-beats, you will get dragged down to their level or get sucked into their shenanigans.
ALL relationships require maintenance
You can’t be surprised friends don’t contact you anymore and relationships have fell by the wayside if they were always the ones initiating the contact to catch up but you never did. You have to maintain relationships. This becomes all the more important the older you get since it becomes only harder and harder to make new friends as you get older.
Own your problems
My wife and I have been living together for over 6 years now (married for 1) and in the first couple years, when my wife would point out negative habits or behaviors of mine, my initial reaction was often defensiveness. But everything changed when I realized: she’s not nagging. She’s pointing out things to help me be conscious of so I can understand myself and my habits better. Switching from a defensive attitude to surrendering with a listeners attitude profoundly increased the symbiotic nature of our relationship. Seriously recommend it. It doesn’t mean you have to be a push-over and say yes for everything. It just means don’t be afraid to acknowledge and OWN your problems.
Prioritize investing in experiences, not things
Taking a day trip somewhere, going to a concert, or having a dinner with close friends is generally going to be a much more enjoyable time than buying something material. The moments and memories you create with friends and family are the best use of your time and money.
Always get uncomfortable
I always say life starts at the end of our comfort zone. And this modern world is nothing but comfort. We live in climate-controlled homes. Even when we push ourselves with exercise, we often do it in a clean and air-conditioned environment. But challenges are crucial to health. From reading “The Comfort Crisis” by Michael Easter, it’s become all the more apparent that you have to experience difficult shit and push your limits to really feel alive. Oddly enough, we used to be faced with real, physical fears all the time and we were okay with it because we had no choice. Now the fears we are faced with are all mental and it stops us in our tracks. One thing that’s helped make this blatantly obvious is what happens when you take a cold shower. The point is, don’t run away from challenges and discomfort. Embrace them and face them head-on! Reintroduce the metaphorical tigers back into your life that you used to live in fear of.
Day Dreaming is key to relaxation and creativity: NOT Instagram.
Do you know why showers and shower thoughts are where you gain clarity and inspiration? Showers are the LAST FRONTIER of unadulterated time we spend without distraction from screens. And during a shower your body is preoccupied doing something that’s become so automatic that it doesn’t have to THINK about what to do. So with your body on cruise-control, and your mind able to day dream, it uncovers things that it was struggling to uncover all day with the incessant distractions. Other than showers: dish washing, strength training, dog walks and bicycling also help inspire me. What helps you get into a flow state?
I’m going through a branding process and building a new website…
You’ve probably noticed I haven’t produced as much content this year. Sure, the baby is on the way and that’s taking my time in preparation for this. But the reality is I have been doing a ton of work on the back-end because a massive restructuring is coming.
My brother (who I adore so much) is working with me to help me lay a new foundation for things that I never took the time to do since I was juggling everything A-Z.
I’ve never gone through a formal branding process before and it’s been very interesting trying to figure out who I am, what makes me unique and how I want to show myself to the outside world. I will be using that info to have a new logo, relaunch a whole new website, release my SYSTEM for health and revamp my premium programs.
I’ve been documenting all the processes involved with ALL aspects of this business using Notion so that I could on-board any employee in the future and have them quickly get up to speed on how to tackle projects, tasks and understand how all the systems work (for e-mails, website, video production, social media, etc).
Juggling so many things is usually daunting but it’s gotten much easier by not only breaking them down into baby steps, but creating “milestones” and deadlines (or time limits) for each of those steps to help me speed along.
The good news is, even after all these self-reflections, the most important thing I need to do is JUST BE MYSELF, QUIRKS AND ALL. Authenticity is of utmost importance here and that, in and of itself will always help to set me apart from most others.
And last but not least, we’re having a baby!
My wife and I got married exactly a year ago, right around my birthday. A few months later we started trying to make a baby and she got pregnant in the first month! At the time of this writing, she is due any day now.
I don’t know how many people are familiar with “I Love Lucy” but when I found out we were having a kid, I couldn’t help but to think of this heartfelt episode where Lucy has trouble breaking the news to her husband but eventually does in an ingenious way in his show and when Ricky finds out, he sings an amazing “We’re having a baby” song. You could watch that scene here.
Anyway, that’s super cheesy stuff nobody cares about probably but I had to say it cause I’m a dork.
And now… my algorithm has been inundated with tips for child-birth and child-care. And one of the most important things I’ve learned is the importance of avoiding screens for them for the first 18 months at a minimum. And even after that it needs to be very limited.
Children who had screen time in the first year are well known to have delayed development in communication and problem solving skills when they’re toddlers. Not just that, but it ends up murdering their own creativity and ability to handle boredom which results in terrible tantrums and impulse control.
Even modern “kids” shows are overly stimulating and created to be ultra-addicting.
When I think about the shows I grew up on: Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers… these were slow pace, with just 1 or 2 camera angles involving minimal scene changes.
Contrast that with the “Cocomelon” kids show, which changes the scene every 2-6 seconds. It’s like a nonstop movie-trailer and it’s done on purpose to hook them and when they are hooked, tantrums start when you pull them away from it. It’s literally drugs to them. It also destroys their ability to handle boredom. In a world where even adults have an issue with knowing what to do with themselves if they’re bored for 2 seconds, imagine how bad it is for a child whose brain is still undeveloped. It messes up their ability to handle emotions, boredom, impulse control and worse, their own creativity.
Just imagine, you know full well that Instagram fucks you up after 10 minutes. And that’s you: an adult. Imagine how much overly-stimulating content messes with children.
Apparently there is no perfect way to parent but there is one thing I can do…
And that is to be present, engaged and give him my full attention when it’s time to. Striving for perfection is not the right answer. I must strive to be the provider and leader for my family. Families need leaders and a father is just as important as a mother, for different reasons. It’s about damn time and I am all for it.
And funny enough, when we celebrated my birthday recently, it was a lot more emotional and viewing it from the perspective of my mother and why she cherishes that day so much.
In conclusion…
The most precious things in life are health, family, friends, the simple pleasures of good food and practicing presence. Embrace challenges, cherish your uniqueness, and always keep learning. With authenticity and the courage to step out of your comfort zone is when we experience the most beautiful moments in life.
Cheers to you for making it toward the end of this and the adventures that await my wife and I in the next chapter involving parenthood.
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Last Fun Fact: This was hurriedly published while my wife is currently in labor next to me already. Dad bod here I come! (JK!)
Update: I HAVE A SON.
If you’re on Instagram, you could see Niko’s new-born butt and my thoughts in detail here.
