How you handle and manage any situation, challenge or experience in your life is probably how you handle all of them. You could extrapolate the process behind how you do any one thing, and use it as a sign of how you probably do any other thing.
Since how you do anything is how you do everything, it’s important to be honest about how you do ‘anything.’ As adults, no one is really watching your every move so you have to catch yourself in the act. I’m just trying to nudge you to become a little more aware of these things.
<Nudge Nudge>
1. Do you often get to work a few minutes late or just barely on time? Then you’re probably late to all other engagements as well, right? Like social events or classes or your own wedding. Next time you see the time and notice you should start getting ready to leave, get up and get ready.
2. If someone asks you to join come to an event, is your answer always, “I can’t afford it?” What you have in your life is what you believe and expect. Maybe you should turn the phrase around and ask “How can I afford it?” to at least get your mind thinking of options rather than dead ends.
3. Do you look at your trash can, notice it’s full, tell yourself that you should throw the trash out, but then do something entirely different? Then it’s likely you are doing the same exact procrastination for many other things as well. The solution is to just do it right then and there.
4. What are your relationships like? Do you keep attracting the same kind of person/relationship? Do you just enjoy ‘the chase’ (the cat and mouse game) and then get bored after a month and just move to the next target? If you don’t do the humbling inner work and pay attention to the details, you’re going to be repeating history over and over and over again.
5. Do you have trouble doing something but when you do start, you must finish it all the way through? Or maybe you do the opposite? Like you start new projects all the time, but don’t see them through all the way. If you have lots of unfinished projects or ideas, then that’s you. Slow your roll. Do your research. Think in the long-term. (Hint: Think about how you deal with reading books. Do you start them but never finish them? Or do you rarely read but when you do, you go all the way if you do?)
6. Have you gotten good with telling little white lies at work? (“Oh I didn’t get the email.”) Then you probably have gotten good with telling ‘white lies’ in your personal relationships too. (“I had lunch with a [really hot] friend [that I’m super attracted to].”) Telling white lies to keep others happy and ourselves in good graces seems like a good enough reason, but white lies stem from insecurity. When a lie is uncovered it can shatter every shred of trust that was built between a man and a woman. Do everything with integrity so your heart stays light. It’s much easier to tell the truth and be real with people and not have to keep track of lies.
7. Do you over-react in general? If someone insults you, do you immediately lash out at them? Or do you bite your tongue and take the high road?
8. How do you approach challenges? Do you commit to something 50% or 100%? Do you often say you’re going to go somewhere and then flake last minute?
9. Is your room always messy? Then your car is too, probably. Get organized. Stop buying junk or hoarding. Clean your drawers out.
10. How do you treat a waiter/waitress? If you treat them like shit, you probably treat most people like shit. Dating Tip: If the person you’re dating is acting nice to you but is treating the waiter, a complete stranger, like shit, that’s a big warning sign. It’s only a matter of time until you’ll be treated like shit eventually too. Trust.
In conclusion…
Once you understand how you do “anything,” you can make grand changes for your life in general. Perhaps now is the time to break old patterns and set new standards for yourself. The way you eat, the way you spend money, the way you have relationships is an expression of who you are and what you believe. Look at what you’re doing and instead of trying to fix problems or make them go away, become interested in them as an opportunity to learn what’s really going on. Hope that helps.
-Antranik