Here’s a blast from the past for me. I was a teenager when I discovered an obscure network of personal websites that were dedicated to discordianism. Discordianism is a fictional religion, based on the Principia Discordia published in 1965. Even though it was a humorous religion based on absurdism, the intricate philosophies were seemingly lined with morsels of truth and I found them fascinating. Randomly interjecting the text within these sites was a made-up, nonsense word: Fnord. I remember loving the surrealist mind-play behind it and so I wanted to share this compilation of messages from an old newsgroup that tried to explain its existence.
What is Fnord?
Fnord is the space in between the pixels on your screen. Fnord is the blank paper that newspapers are printed on. Fnord is the the four-leaf clover with a missing leaf. Fnord is the tool the dentist uses on unruly patients. Fnord is the gunk that sticks to the inside of your car's fenders. Fnord is the reason boxes of condoms carry twelve instead of ten. Fnord is the last bit of sand you can't get out of your shoe. Fnord is the founding father of the phrase "founding father." Fnord is an arcade game like Pacman without the little dots. Fnord is a place where those socks vanish off in the laundry. Fnord lives in the empty space above a decimal point.
Fnord is the reason latent homosexuals stay latent. Fnord is the redundant coin slot on arcade games. Fnord is evaporated herbal tea, minus the herbs. Fnord is the empty pages at the end of the book. Fnord is the smallest number greater than zero. Fnord is the universe with decreasing entropy. Fnord is the serial number on a box of cereal. Fnord is an annoying series of email messages. Fnord is a little puffy cloud you see at 5pm. Fnord is the color only blind people can see. Fnord is the 43 1/3rd state, next to Wyoming. Fnord is the lint in the navel of the mites that eat the lint in the navel of the mites that eat the lint in Fnord's navel. Fnord is the parsley on the plate of your life. Fnord is the little pebble in your shoe. Fnord is the "ooo" in varooom of race cars. Fnord is this really, really tall mountain.
Fnord is neither a particle nor a wave. Fnord is where the buses hide at night. Fnord was last seen in Omaha, Nebraska. Fnord is why doctors ask you to cough. Fnord is the sales tax on happiness. Fnord is a pickle without the bumps. Fnord is a sentient vacuum cleaner. Fnord is the "een" in baleen whale. Fnord uses two bathtubs at once. Fnord is Jesus's speech adviser. Fnord is an apostrophe on drugs. Fnord is the yin without yang.
Fnord is the echo of silence. Fnord is toast without bread. Fnord is why ducks eat trees. Fnord is the donut hole. Fnord is the whole donut. Fnord never sleeps.